Animals that are patiently awesome.
Uh…… you mean like this?
wow. let it be known that tumblr legitimately changed my opinion on something today.
I’m sorry but is there an advert about toilet paper in there. They are legitimately trying to sex up toilet paper.
my headcanon here is that legolas is just BARELY visibly holding it together
since canon tells us that mirkwood elves like to party and are fully capable of passing out from drunk
so legolas is using EVERYTHING HE HAS to fuck with gimli and pretend he hasn’t a clue what it’s like to be affected by alcohol
while inside he’s all ‘sdkla;hgsj you can do this leggles you can do this’
‘don’t think about that time you blacked out from dorwinion wine while naked in the middle of an impromptu archery contest’
‘and all your friends drew orc penises on your face’‘and when you woke up you were halfway to dale without a clue as to how you got there’
‘And especially don’t think about that time you drank so much that the dwarves you were supposed to be watching escaped in the empty barrels of wine.’
‘Dad never let me hear the end of that one’
While all of the above is great, I’d like to offer that dwaven ‘ale’ probably isn’t made from barley. they live underground. what grows underground? Mushrooms. I’m saying Dwarven Ale is halucinogenic. I’m saying Legolas was tripping balls.
Step back, peeps, and fasten your seat-belts. Time to bring in a puberty professional.
…. wait. That’s not right. Hold on.
Let’s fast-forward about five more years.
Ah, yes, there we go. Right after I sold my soul to Satan.
Naw son you can’t be hot in two genders you fucking cheated
this is my favorite post because its just people bragging about how hot they are